Yesterday I had the horrible honor to attend gasparilla!!!! Gasparilla is Tampa bays spinoff of Mardi Gras. And is basically just another reason for people to be drunk and dress like pirates and show their tits for beeds. Now I never actually made it to the actual parade but instead went to a private gasparilla party. You’re thinking FUN and FANCY and EXCLUSIVE right?!!! Well it’s was pretty fun … up until I realized I was shitfaced and my day was pretty much over. Now I’m no rookie and in my 27 years of life, I’ve learned how to “handle” my alcohol (kinda). But for some reason I thought I could hang. And hang to me meant … one wine mini, one Malibu rum mini,a Jell-O shot, and 1 and half rum and cokes. Reading that sentence alone is enough to make me feel sick all over again. And even though my cousin and our gasparilla peers kept telling me that “it was okay to be super drunk too fast at your first gasparilla”and “ if you’re not asleep on the curb, you’re Doing better than most”. Still my horrible hangover has absolutely killed my curiosity about gasparilla and I won’t be attending another. How bad was my hangover you ask? When I got home at 5 and thought I could just sleep it off (laugh with me), I realized I needed to do a number 2 and throw up all my shame. Which lasted from 10 at night til 3 am. All vomit aside, I did enjoy stuffing my face with nuggets and cookies and playing corn hole for the first time. Which I learned I indeed do NOT have a gentle throw and suck at corn hole. So what did I learn kids!? Alcohol is not my friend. And neither is the ugly cousin to Mardi Gras. And I am getting entirely too old for this . And that is my gasparilla story.