AsToldByShan

Hello happy Second Thursday of Pride Month! Today I’m going to talk/rant about how insane it makes me when fellow queer/ gay /lesbian people say homophobic things or make jokes. And how they’re still at that point in their journey where they don’t realize it’s internalized homophobia. ( I too still struggle with this, but rapidly working through it).

Ever since fully coming out,( I’ve been coming out since like 2019, but no one took me serious until I got my first girlfriend in 2022.) I’ve noticed a trend within this very large , diverse , and beautiful community. Where tons of gays are getting on social media or even talking in person and saying things like , “I’m gay but not gay like that.” Or “ I’m not going to Pride type of gay”. Or “I’m not wearing rainbows gay, or talk about it every second gay”.

And here’s why it’s frustrating, I’ve spent a very long time coming to terms with my sexuality. It always hung out under the surface . But I kept it buried deep and still kept trying to date men. I believe I fully gave up on men like 2019. And it’s now 2024. From 2019-2022 I was giving myself time and the safe space to figure it out. And I never knew once I got to figure it out all those years later that I would be met with such a toxic and homophobic community.

Those phrases and many others are extremely homophobic, and I’m 100% sure they don’t even realize it when they say it. They somehow think it makes them seem “cooler” , but the truth is they still haven’t come to terms with their sexuality fully. Even though they’ve dated the same sex for years, they’re still battling with comphet. and it’s not my job to judge where a person is on their Gay Journey. But it’s so disappointing to baby gays like myself who seek some type of comfort and community, and the gays they seek out are anti- gay everything besides relationships.

Pride month, rainbows, representation lgtbqia+ shows and more are so important for our community ! Even in todays age, as congress are still working overtime to erase us and make it seem like we don’t exist. I live In Florida where desantis is literally the walking embodiment of anti-gay. He literally at one point started an entire campaign about not saying GAY. Like it was some evil word that could magically turn you gay the moment you say it. I live in the Florida where multiple stores and brands have stopped having pride merch in their store out of fear of having their stores vandalized or offending straight people. which at one point last year people were actively doing! Walking in target and destroying their displays, and target has always been a supporter until all that drama happened.

It’s very important that we don’t go backwards and we continue to love loud and move forwards as safely as we can! I know a lot of states and city’s aren’t very gay friendly , so it’ll definitely be harder for some to be as loud and proud. But even if you have to do it in secret until you can do it safely, it still counts!

Marsha B Johnson and many others worked so hard so we could be able to be gay and queer in peace! The very first pride was a riot In protest that one day we could have the freedom and pride that we have today. That so many of you disrespect to uphold so kind of fake heteronormative coolness. Because guess what?! Even if you don’t wear rainbows or go to pride or talk about being gay with pride… they will still know you’re gay by your actions, the way you present yourself and who you love. So at this point why aren’t you going to Pride to celebrate your freedom and ability to be able to be seen and happy?!

It doesn’t make you edgy or cool to say such things or act that way which panders to the cis gender community. They will still only see you as you are, so be that with all the Prides you can muster!!

If you’re still walking around saying “you can’t do pride cause it’s all about rainbows!” You are sadly missing the entire point and you have several levels of healing to do.

Pride happens to be one of my favorite times of year and I always have so much fun! And I can’t wait to go this year and be as LOUDLY GAY AS POSSIBLE!!!

Pride is a big deal and will always be a big deal!!