If you love Asian Culture, you have to love Asian People as well…

By: Shanise Lachelle

Now I’ll be the first to say I’m not the slightest bit racist and I was raised to treat everyone fairly. And I think the majority of decent human beings would say the same. But it hasn’t occurred to me until recently how MUCH ignorance and racism occurs towards the Asian Community . I can talk for years about how being black in America and being a Black Woman period, is an everyday struggle and Everytime it feels like you take 1 giant step forward for black people by breaking the “loud, ghetto, stereotypes” you take 1,000 steps back. It’s an ongoing cycle. But what I’ve noticed about the Asian Community, especially this year with (Covid-19) , is that we’ve all been guilty of being a little ignorant, even if we didn’t mean to. We’ve all made fun of the nail shop women, we’ve all said chinese food is rats and bats, and some of us have made fun of the shape of their eyes. And yes all of that is RACIST. Am I racist? No!, Have I done those things? Yes and of course I’m shamed. Because I wouldn’t want anyone to make black jokes and think it’s funny, when it’s not. Why is it okay for us to constantly bash them ,joking or not, but CONSTANTLY TAKE FROM THEIR CULTURE? We wouldn’t have half of the coolest things if it wasn’t for Asian culture. I’m talking chinese food, kung-fu movies, those same amazing nail shop women hooking out nails up, sushi, sailor moon, and some of the most amazing artists in the world .

When covid happened , Everyone became extremely racist against Asians. Because they didn’t want to catch the” chinese virus”. Which in itself is ignorant, because as soon as they found out about it ,they tried to contain it. And not all Asians are chinese . These people started to loose business in their shops and even asian Uber drives couldn’t get work.

It’s also extremely racist and WEIRD to be OBSESSED with asian culture, especially if you’re not ASIAN. You can appreciate the culture without going overboard and being offensive. Meaning ,if you are gonna wear certain symbols, know the actual meaning. Same goes for tattoos, if you don’t know what it really means, don’t get it tattooed. And DON’T befriend or only date someone because they’re asian then proceeded to only talk to them about karate and sushi etc., I can NOT stress enough how offensive that is and RACIST. and will make them highly uncomfortable. Not all Asians like karate or eat sushi, just like not all black people like fried chicken and watermelon.( I HATE watermelon). Just be considerate and be NORMAL. Don’t be creepy.

Before I got into Bts and K-pop, I was one of THOSE people who bashed it . Not ruthlessly, but I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand the hype around the “pasty Asians”, ( trust me I cringe now when I think about it). It wasn’t until I took all the underlining xenophobic thoughts out of my head ,was I able to fully enjoy a whole new genre of music and TALENT. Because oh man, Asian artist’s are just on a whole different level ENTIRELY. But I think that goes for the entire of Asia. They just seem to be living in future. Back to the point , I’m now made fun of for liking Bts and Those “Asians”. And people are constantly telling me they ” DON’T GET IT” and asking me”you really like Asians?”or just recently I said I wouldn’t mind dating an Asian guy/girl and my coworker said” okay where do they hang out at?” , as if they’re entirely a different species. Whether you know it or not, you contribute to xenophobia when you say things like that, even if you don’t necessarily mean it that way. Asians are people too. Hate to break it to you, but they bleed blood, poop out of their bum holes and walk around on like normal people just like Americans. This could also be the reason why alot of them are not fond of foreigners and americans and trust me I get it. But I think americans as a whole need to do better. You are HUMANS first and americans next. You can’t love a entire culture but hate the community it comes from and treat them like shit. ( Much how people hate black people but CONSTANTLY steal from black culture). This is not coming from a korea-boo ( I don’t want to move to korea) , or a weeaboo( I don’t watch anime). This is coming from a human who’s made alot of those same mistakes but has learned from them and grown to love and appreciate the Asian culture. I’m writing this to say, if you love Asian culture, you have to love Asian people as well. You can NOT have one without the other.

Ps. It is not lost on me how the industry treats Asians as well. We rarely get any all asian cast films, or tv shows and the Asian artist’s get treated like crap when they come to America and not taken seriously. And They rarely get nominated for big awards( grammys, oscars). America as a whole is extremely XENOPHOBIC AND THAT NEEDS TO END ASAP!!

Don’t EVER settle

I’ve finally reached that point in my life. The point where I realized I’m gonna be single for a while until I can find my equal. Ever since I’d become interested in boys and dating ,I settled. I may have not known it then, but any boy who called me cute or paid me any type of attention , had my heart. I didn’t care that they treated me like shit or they strung me along. As long as I had “someone”. Yes, I had super low self-esteem and was supper shy and had about a billion insecurities. I once wasted 10 years on a guy. Who was never my official boyfriend by the way. And never intended to be . But loved the girlfriend type things he got by being with me. Imagine the type of low worth man you have to be to string someone along for a decade when you know you’ll never commit to them. And Imagine how much I didn’t know my worth that I put up with it. He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him, when truth is I was probably too good for him. I just didn’t know it. I’ve had more than enough of those type of relationships to last me a lifetime. Seriously, I’ve learned my lesson. My point being is I’ve settled for everything in my life

Jobs

Grades

Friends

Boys

I always accepted the bare minimum. Not until recently have I worked my butt off in every aspect of my life and stopped settling for the bare minimum. And guess what!? It’s cost me friends, and guys. But guess what I’ve gained? EVERYTHING I was supposed to become. I can no longer accpet the bare minimum and I don’t want too!! Those people were simply a distraction, keeping me from achieving my goals. So don’t settle! And if people fall off or leave…. Well LET THEM. They’re not meant to be in your life anyway. Does it absolutely suck being alone and single, especially during a pandemic!??? Yes!! , Trust me I know it does. But imagine the blessings that are about to enter your life for not settling. The best is yet to come and comes to those who are patient. We’re gonna make it, we won’t be alone forever.

Being Ambitious

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that when you’re overly ambitious people tend to either be scared of you or doubt you.

This is the busiest and most driven I’ve ever been and instead of being met with praise and positives, I feel like I’m being met with negativity and doubters. I feel people pulling away from me. I feel people rolling their eyes when I talk about my goals and ambitions. I don’t always get the same support I put out. I’ve noticed I’m the only one going hard for my brand. And you know what!?

That’s fine with me. I’ve got an insatiable hunger now that I’ve gotten a taste of what it means to be a boss and I honestly love it. I find myself no longer wanting to be around people who don’t have that same hunger . I now longer look at men who do the bare minimum and get excited about it. In my eyes if I’m doing xyz and beyond, so do you. I can’t sit at a table where there’s no talk of substance going on. I can’t even begin to think about dating you if you’re not matching my energy and being just as busy if not busier than me. What I want, I get but only because I’m willing to work my ass off for it. If you can’t keep up, I suggest you move to the side So I can get it done. I’m no longer waiting on anyone to get what I need done. I’m doing it by myself and for myself.

God’s Timing…

I’ve been feeling low latley and feeling like God has left me to suffer. I often ask him “why would you make me this way only for people to not understand me or like me” . But the thing with God is who you are is exactly who you’re meant to be. If the people in your life don’t like you or understand you, those people aren’t meant to be in your life. Period. When the same type of negative , manipulative people come into your life over and over , God is trying to teach you a lesson. Those people aren’t for you and you deserve better. But until you see that and believe it, he’s going to keep testing you.

I don’t know what God has in store for me. And I sometimes get impatient because I’m ready for my BLESSINGS NOW. But I know God has something AMAZING for me. It has to be, there’s no way he would take away something bad to only be left with nothing at all. And from what he’s done for me so far…. I can only imagine the blessings I’m about to be rolling in.

2020 isn’t really all that bad..

2020 has been quite the year already and it’s not even over yet. But while the whole world seems to falling apart and trying to heal itself, I’ve been having one the most productive and busiest years of my life. Who knew all it took was covid and lockdown to kick my ass into gear. All the things I’ve wanted to do for YEARS, I finally did. Nothing stood in my way. But I’ve noticed Everytime I’m on a high and I’m getting it done , something is thrown in my way to distract me( most of the time it’s boys) . I can’t help but wonder if the universe is testing me or if the devil sees what I’m becoming and is trying to knock me down. I allow myself to get distracted by useless things and then I’m in a rut for days. Then when I come out of said rut I’m left confused as to why I even let whatever it was brother me for so long. And like GIRL WE GOT SHIT TO DO. There’s no time for tears. I’ve also noticed the more distracted I become the harder I work when I come back to my senses. Either way you want to spin it, this year has been incredible for me.

. Started my own busines

.Started writing my very first book(surprise)

.launched my YouTube channel

When I look at how much I’ve accomplished I’m SHOOK. WHO knew the little ol depressed girl would become all of this! It’s easy to look at what’s in front of you and get discouraged. But you don’t know the bigger picture. You have no idea what’s waiting for you in the end . If you would have told me 4 years ago I would be halfway through finishing uni , owning a business, running a blog and YouTube channel. I would have laughed in your face . This new me I’ve become is worth so much more and so worth protecting. I’m excited to see what the future holds. No more letting distractions win . I’VE GOT SHIT TO DO.

Being ” high maintenance”

I often here men say how they don’t want a women who’s “high maintenance”. What they’re really saying is , they don’t want a women who’s gonna take effort to keep happy. Meaning they want women they can do the bare minimum for and everything will be okay. They don’t want to have to go the extra mile. When lazy men see high maintenance women they get nervous, here’s a women who’s on her shit and keeping herself together and they know they can’t keep up. So they try and make her feel like shit and tell her she’s doing too much or she’s too much work. When in reality he just needs to work harder. Being high maintenance is not a bad thing. All it means is you take great care of yourself and you hold yourself to the highest standards. You also tend to hold everyone else around you to highest standards as well. Being with a high maintenance women should make men want to up their game and be better and do better. Stop using high maintenance as an insult and get your shit together. Don’t hate on her because she has it together. Get your shit together and level up with her .

Why the company you keep is actually important

I like to believe I’m a pretty laid back person, actually I know I am . Which means I can pretty much befriend and gel with ANYBODY. Growing up I was always friends with such a diverse group of people. And it was always a issue for me, I learned pretty quickly that your friend groups aren’t going to always mesh well and it’s sometimes better to keep them separate to avoid all the drama. However the older I get and the more refined and polished I become , I’ve noticed that certain types of people I can no longer mesh with. I hate to judge people off first impressions and the way they carry themselves but I DO. IM all about first impressions, but I’m also a nice dummy who trys to befriend everyone and make everyone feel included. I often ignore the warning signs telling me this person is not for me and it’s gonna end bad, mostly because the voice in my head is my own worst enemy at times and it’s hard to believe her. And because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt no matter how much my gut is telling me not to . I’ve noticed when I hang with those people , I don’t feel like I can be myself and I have to make myself small and keep certain things about me locked away. Out of fear of them thinking I’m stuck up or too liberal or whatever. I lower my frequency to try and match theirs. Then when it all blows up over something stupid (because it always does) I end up feeling drained and like “why did I even waste my time?” I knew deep down this person was not for me but I STILL tried to make it work.

You can absolutely be friends with different types of people, but sometimes there’s people you don’t need to be friends with and you know it. Not that they’re beneath me or anything, it’s just their presence adds no value to my life or well being. I used to not care who I surrounded myself with. Now as I move forward and up with my life, I like to surround myself only with powerful women. Women who aren’t about pettiness and drama, but about their careers and business and being a better person. When you surround yourself with lo-class people with no ambition that’s what you become sooner or later. When you surround yourself with people who work hard and strive for the best, it pushes you to want to be a better person and to work harder.

I’m DONE with people who don’t match my hustle or frequency. They can stay low while I go high!!

Funny thing

Here’s the thing, I was bullied Throughout school. From elementary to highschool. Not to bad but bad enough where I didn’t want to go to school and never spoke a word of it to my family. And it was always the same type of girls- loud, and insecure. It bothered me that these girls didn’t like me, even though they had no reason to. So I worked constantly to become someone they would like, changed myself, and made myself smaller so they would be happy. Did it work,? Sure did, those same bullies that hated me now we’re my friends. They went on and on about how pretty I was and how funny I was. Funny how they didn’t think that before I changed. Flash forward to my adult life and I’m still dealing with those same type of girls-. Except now they’re grown women in their 30s and with kids. It baffles me how those girls never really grew up and now they’re adult bullies still trying to make me feel like shit for being myself. Well guess what? SCREW THEM!!! Im not gonna make myself small to make these adult bullies happy, if you can’t take me in all my dry, sarcastic humor, then you just can’tt take me ! And that’s okay. I’ve never intentionally set out to upset anyone, I’ve always just been myself. Which has upset a certain type of girls- my whole life.
It took me years to finally realize you won’t be for everybody and not everyone will like you unless you change yourself to make them happy. But I’m not 12 anymore and they don’t scare me, I will no longer live small so they can live large. And if people constantly hate on you because of personality traits and it bothers them, you must really be that BITCH.( Sorry mum)

PS.- adult bullies are really sad and pathetic. Grow up and perhaps get a hobby.

What I miss

If corona has taught us anything it’s to appreciate the little things in life we would take for granted. Here’s some of the simple things I miss terribly that I took for granted because I though “ I’ll just do it next weekend”.

1. Friends- I use to cancel and back out of so many things with my friends. After this is all over I won’t turn down a single plan

2. Bars/clubs- I used to HATE going out to clubs . And only tolerated bars because they can be chill. But since being on lockdown for about a month and going crazy.. I can’t WAIT to go out and let loose and have fun.

Restaurants. Parks. THE MALL. And just being around other people in general. I miss it all so much and can’t for it all to over. What do you miss ?! What did you take for granted?!

Covid-19 update

How’s everyone doing?! This seems like it isn’t real and the future is so uncertain. I know I personally was so excited to go into this year and had so many things planned. And now it’s like that’s all been put on hold because of this virus. It’s weird, it’s like we watch all these end of the world movies but we never thought we’d be anywhere close to it. I personally think this is a wake up call for us all! I think the universe is trying to correct what we’ve done wrong to each other and the planet. We literally was living so reckless and careless and this is our wake up call. We have time to think and change our actions. There’s nothing else to do but to think and change. I will admit this whole thing is so stressful to me and gives me anxiety. I laugh at all the memes about it being the end of the world but I’m so scared that it is. And I have so much I still want to do, it almost doesn’t seem fair. But I know it’s not about me, we’re all in this together. There’s nothing any. Of use can do but stay and home and wash our hands. I do think the government has failed us and they’re not telling us everything. This happened too fast and is too big of a situation for it not to have more to the story. I’m super anxious but hopeful for our future. I hope this isn’t the end. And I hope you’re all well and taking care of yourselves! Let’s come out of this stronger and better humans.