Covid-19 update

How’s everyone doing?! This seems like it isn’t real and the future is so uncertain. I know I personally was so excited to go into this year and had so many things planned. And now it’s like that’s all been put on hold because of this virus. It’s weird, it’s like we watch all these end of the world movies but we never thought we’d be anywhere close to it. I personally think this is a wake up call for us all! I think the universe is trying to correct what we’ve done wrong to each other and the planet. We literally was living so reckless and careless and this is our wake up call. We have time to think and change our actions. There’s nothing else to do but to think and change. I will admit this whole thing is so stressful to me and gives me anxiety. I laugh at all the memes about it being the end of the world but I’m so scared that it is. And I have so much I still want to do, it almost doesn’t seem fair. But I know it’s not about me, we’re all in this together. There’s nothing any. Of use can do but stay and home and wash our hands. I do think the government has failed us and they’re not telling us everything. This happened too fast and is too big of a situation for it not to have more to the story. I’m super anxious but hopeful for our future. I hope this isn’t the end. And I hope you’re all well and taking care of yourselves! Let’s come out of this stronger and better humans.

Keep calm and carry on

We are living in scary uncertain times. Two weeks ago I was going into spring break after taking my exams and planning two vacations for April. Now both of those have been cancelled and my college has transferred all classes online. The future seems uncertain and so far away as we’ve been ordered to stay inside and keep at least 6 ft between us. In the light of what seems like “the end of the world” I’ve decided to compile a corona virus list. Aka things to do while you’re at home in between work or school so you don’t go stir crazy.

1. Netflix. Hulu or Disney plus! Catch up on all your shows you’ve been to busy to watch and or start new ones.

2.workout. Now gyms and such might be closed but you can go for walks and or go running outside.

3.which brings us to number 3 make sure and get some sunlight!!! It’s very important to get some vitamin D especially if you’re suffering from anxiety or depression! Don’t forget to soak up some sun. Even if you’re just sitting on your porch.

4.pray/meditate. You don’t have to be super religious to pray. You can pray to the Universe and just ask for guidance. And meditation will help you calm any worry’s or stress this situation has undoubtedly put on you.

5. Read . Finish that book you started years ago or start a new one.

6. Start baking! What better way than to start up a tasty hobby. It can be fun to involve the kids too.

7.have random dance parties! Also great to include the kids!! It will really lift your spirits!

8. Play board games! Another fun way to just relax and bring the family together for some innocent fun.

9. Stay positive! I know this seems hard now a days and the media is nothing but bad news lately. But nothing bad ever came out staying positive .

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I can’t wait to finally be SEEN. For someone to look at me and really SEE me . To really know me like I know me. To understand me. To actually listen to me. To notice things about me that I don’t have to tell them. To love me the way I love me. I can’t wait to finally be SEEN. It’s just lonely being the only one who knows ME.

Sex

Don’t be alarmed by the title. It’s truth time. The last few years have been something of a mind FUCk considering my sexuality. And I don’t mean in the way you’re thinking. Ever since I got boobs I was the center of attention for boys. Mix that with the fact that I was super tiny and had a Cute innocent face and I was basically a walking porno. And I won’t lie I always loved the attention. As I got older and became even more aware of my body and potential I became even more of a vixen. but somewhere along the line that’s ALL guys saw me as. And it started to bother me

And fuck with my mental health. I started to HATE my body and hate my boobs and hate everything about me that I used to love. I started to cover up, and I got rid of any revealing clothing. I didn’t wanna be that “vixen ” anymore. I stared searching for ways to be cute and childlike my look, so maybe just maybe I could find a guy who would like me based off of how cute I was and how much interest I had in several different things-marvel. DC. Art. Music. Books etc. I wanted to be the exact opposite of me. I Went into serious self

Loathing period where I Didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. But I wanted NOTHING to do with anything remotely sexual. This lasted on and off for about two years. Then i thought to myself, MEN are STUPID SHANISE. Just because they can’t separate your looks from your brains is NOT your fault. It’s theirs! They fail to realize you’re the WHOLE entire package not just some wetdream to be full field! And it was the guys you least expect (NERDS) with NO game or charm who decided they were gonna stick me in a one-dimensional box. I mean it was the stereotypical fine ass boys too,but mostly it was NERDS.

Which also made me realize it don’t matter what kind of boy he is and if he’s fine or not .a lot of them have a one track mind and it HAS nothing to do with you.

Men simply are just dumb and usually only think with their dicks. Not much we can do with that. But continue to thrive and be AWESOME.

I love my sexuality and I love my body and my TITTIES. And 🖕🏾 whoever got something to say about it and NO I won’t be your friends with benefits 🖕🏾🥰👏 not unless it’s on MY terms.

I’ve been so busy trying to change everything about me when I’m LIT just the way I am. And I’m worth so much more than my body.

The end

Is romance dead?

I , a 28 year old women like creature has yet to experience real true genuine love.

Not for the lack of trying believe me. I’ve been on TONS of dates and something like dates, for the other person to disappear or only want sex. Romance is dead on my generation. No one opens the door anymore or buys you flowers.

I blame every romance novel and film for getting my hopes up. Nothing in the real world is even close to that. I mean I haven’t come across it yet.

I’ve been on the verge a few times but ending up falling short. Now this also very well could be the fact that I don’t put myself out there ALOT. I’m not sorry, I’ve done the whole party every weekend scene and it’s genuinely hard to find someone to connect to whilst they’re drunk. And would you believe that I haven’t randomly bumped into a handsome stranger for him to fall madly in love with me?! The utter outrage. Also let’s talk about dating sites because that’s how EVERYBODY is meeting their significant other now. I’ve been on a couple for like a week or so each. Nothing ever bites and when they do it’s for, you guessed it a HOOKUP. Why do guys just think you wanna fuck them right away!? Like I went on a date once where every time I asked a question about him he started to talk about something else. Which alone should’ve been a red flag. This one guy I had zero interest in at all messaged me and we went to high school together, so I though wow how random. I thought he was flirting because he wanted to date me and he was flirting because he just wanted sex.

Now can you see why I’m a little cynical.?! Not to mention almost every single guy I’ve had anything with in the last 10 years was a BUM. Sucking all of my light out of me. Literally, a STRAIGHT UP BUM. No ambition, no charm, no respect and sometimes no damn job. But that also is about me settling because I don’t wanna be ALONE.

But here I am almost (30), with 10 years worth of dating horror stories and growth! I’ve learned what I don’t want and what I do want!! And most importantly I’ve fallen madly in love with ME. And me deserves the flowers for no reason and being spoiled on her birthday by someone else. Me deserves someone to be genuinely interested in me and what I have to say. Me deserves someone making me waffles because they’re better than pancakes. Me deserves the BEst.

I’m going to school full time next week for 5 months and will I meet someone? Or a few someone’s?! I am in the environment where people meet other people, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Despite how negative this post is, I have high hopes for 2020! I will fall inlove. (Hopefully)

2020 is the year of women and romance❤️

2020 is gonna be a big year for women and romance. Here are some of my most anticipated films of 2020.

1. Birds of prey

2. Wonder Woman :1984

3. After we collided

4. To all the boys: ps I still love you

5. Black widow

6. New Mutants

Will update this list as movie news comes out or my interest is peaked.

Dump trump has done it again🙄

Imagine as a nation how tired we are.

dummie trump has now declared war on Iran and all so his impeachment trial would be put on hold or stopped and because re-election is coming back up. I say this man is the dumbest not dumb person I’ve never not ever met. I genuinely hate that he’s our president and he makes America look ridiculously stupid. We are the laughing stock of the world. I sincerely hope EVERY person who took the election has a joke and wanted to give this moron a chance , sees this is every bit there fault as it is his and his stupid ass team. I’m over it and ready to go to Canada. I hate it here . Y’all were really worried about Hilary’s emails but look where we are NOW. Just LOOK.

Australia is on fire

Australia has been on fire for weeks according to every Aussie under the sun. But has just been brought to the media’s attention this past weekend. I do think in situations like this it’s AMAZING how humanity is somewhat restored and we come together as people to donate and help spread the word. But I have two points to make today. 1. When the Notre dame was burning down I couldn’t unsee that on every news station and every social media outlet and by the end of the day or week wasn’t over a million dollars raised to rebuild it? ( I could be wrong) but it seemed people were genuinely more outraged at that then an entire country being on fire. I know it’s easy to sit back and not care because it’s all the way on the other side of the world, but this affects all of us, wether we like it or not. Australia being on fire is a climate change issue!! And anyone who says otherwise is in denial. 2. The amount of rich as fuck celebrities begging the lower class to donate money is beyond lost on me. Yes we should all do what we can to help, but some of us don’t have it to help and feel immense guilt that we can’t donate hundreds of dollars . But celebrities can, if each of the richest celebrities donated at least 1 million, just 1 ,imagine the damage that can start to be undone. They’ve already lost over a billion of their animals! A BILLION. That’s more than half of their Animals heading towards extinction! Donate if you can! But also spread the word, and don’t feel bad if you can’t! Also make sure you’re donating to charities that are really gonna use the money to help the Australians. I know there’s been problems with Red Cross before.

And pray for Australia, because it could’ve been America. It could’ve been California, Florida, Arizona. It so easily could’ve been us and it still can happen to us if we don’t take climate change seriously.