❣️Galentines❣️

Don’t have a date this year?! That’s okay get a couple of your single girlfriends together and celebrate galentines day ❣️❤️

.

.

Go to the movies and see: fantasy island- the perfect anti-valentines day flick

Go to the bars- since valentines 🤢 day falls on Friday I’m sure TONS of bars/clubs will be doing specials.

Have a fun gathering at home: watch your favorite chick flicks and drink wine .

Spend it with your mum or grandma❤️

Anyway you choose to spend it, don’t let being single ruin one of the best commercial holidays around❤️❤️ spread love and be love.

Untitled

I can’t wait to finally be SEEN. For someone to look at me and really SEE me . To really know me like I know me. To understand me. To actually listen to me. To notice things about me that I don’t have to tell them. To love me the way I love me. I can’t wait to finally be SEEN. It’s just lonely being the only one who knows ME.

Lessons

What I’ve learned about myself so much these past 3 years is that , friendships consume me. And not in a good way. I often find people I have zero in common with and become fast “best friends “. I then go over and beyond for them and would kill for them. Only to be let down every single time when they don’t Ever share the same energy. But why? Am I not important enough to go hard for? Are they using me and don’t realize it? I can tell you how many times I’ve had friends check In on me or tried to hangout to catch up with me these last few months of 2019-0. All those best friends I went over and beyond for have been nowhere to be found. Crazy right?! Not really , what I learned is people will always let you down when you hold them to any type of standards. People suck and people are getting more selfish with their time. People will see how caring and giving you are and will suck you insanely DRY. My problem is I always attract “friends” like this. So in reality maybe I’m the problem right?! My need for constant love and attention and longing for companionship had made me desperate to befriend and keep friends who aren’t actually great friends at all. This doesn’t mean they’re bad people afcourse just not on par to be great friends with me. It’s made me severely independent. I no longer wait around for people to get things done. I go shopping by MYSELF. I go to the movies by MYSELF. I go workout/running by MYSELF. Because In the end I’m the only one who’s always gonna have my back and I won’t ever let me down. This year I think by loosing friendships I found the best one in ME❤️

Hello the new me

  • This new me is a me I’ve secretly met many times before. But loudly afraid of reactions and loosing friendships I’ve kept her (closeted). I’ve always come back to her just to keep her hidden away. Safe. She was perfect . Pure. I didn’t want anyone to see her really or to ruin her. I let a bit of her shine every-once and a while, then I get scared and tell her ” that’s enough now, don’t do too much now”

I think she’s who I’m meant to be. She’s fiercely everything I ever wanted to be. She loves me unconditionally. I hope she stays in me. She arrived late but just in time. The end of a decade full of wondering and left behinds. Girl 2020 and beyond is your time to SHINE. hello new me it’s so fucking nice to finally feel free to be you❤️

James💔

” Jamie. Jameson. James. Is warmth. Like literally happiness and warmth wrapped in a blanket. Is protection feeling so safe and protected against all that is wrong . Is bad jokes and even more so -inappropriate jokes at the wrong times. Is being ever so patient when you’re in a mood ( which is a lot) is the best hugger and cuddle man boy on the PLANET. Like I said he feels like home and warmth. It’s 1000 stupid nicknames and still having the ability to come up with more. Is inside jokes- dirty inside jokes. Is breakups and makeups and breakups again. (One day we’ll get it right) is the most gentle soul I’ve ever known. Also maybe the sweetest soul I’ve ever known. Sometimes you meet people who are like real life angels and you don’t deserve them at the moment. But you just know they’re crossing your path for a reason. He’s warmth and happiness wrapped in a blanket. He’s home💔”

Honest

“Honestly depression isn’t kind. It kills people and we know these are facts. Yet we still treat fragile depressed people like shit. Life can really suck sometimes. Like it isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It’s blood , stress and tears. It’s your mind telling you you’ll never be worth anything. You’re nothing. It’s crying yourself to sleep some nights and waking up with a headache. It’s spending days in the bed. It’s functioning like a normal person at work then getting home and just sitting in one spot for hours. It’s daydreaming constantly about happy times and the day it’ll all end. It’s pushing yourself through it day by day even when you don’t want to. It’s loneliness. It’s emptiness. It’s just a black hole. It’s not talking about it cause it’s hard to explain and nobody really cares anyway. I’ll tell you honestly depression is NOT KIND, so maybe you should be… just a little if anything”