I can’t wait to finally be SEEN. For someone to look at me and really SEE me . To really know me like I know me. To understand me. To actually listen to me. To notice things about me that I don’t have to tell them. To love me the way I love me. I can’t wait to finally be SEEN. It’s just lonely being the only one who knows ME.
- Rainy days and days that it doesn’t rain but it still smells like it
- Anything that reminds me of the 90s/2000s and my childhood. I immediately feel safe there
- Life’s lessons. They’re hard and suck. But here’s the thing life will continue to send you the same lesson until you pass it.
- Holding hands. Playing with fingers. All of it. It’s mine to hold
- Loving someone so honestly and wholeheartedly. That shit feels soo good
- Loving YOURSELF so honestly and wholeheartedly. That shit feels extra good
- Laughing so hard I cry.
- Laughing so hard I can’t breathe
- Good books and stories that I can usually finish in a day or two.
- My stories. I Go back to them and read them from time to time.
- Slowing down in the moment and just being PRESENT.
- Warm people. People that feel like home.
- Robert Downey jr. that’s it. That’s the tweet and send
- A great sense of humor can go a long way!( I once talked myself out of failing a class by making the teacher giggle.
- Baby giggles. They’re the purest thing in the world.
- Baby cuddles- also pure.
- Smell of fresh babies-best smell in the world
- Red velvet cake
- Broccoli and cheese pasta/rice
- Art- music. Movies. Paintings
- The holidays
- Warm vibes
- The quiet
- Late nights
” Jamie. Jameson. James. Is warmth. Like literally happiness and warmth wrapped in a blanket. Is protection feeling so safe and protected against all that is wrong . Is bad jokes and even more so -inappropriate jokes at the wrong times. Is being ever so patient when you’re in a mood ( which is a lot) is the best hugger and cuddle man boy on the PLANET. Like I said he feels like home and warmth. It’s 1000 stupid nicknames and still having the ability to come up with more. Is inside jokes- dirty inside jokes. Is breakups and makeups and breakups again. (One day we’ll get it right) is the most gentle soul I’ve ever known. Also maybe the sweetest soul I’ve ever known. Sometimes you meet people who are like real life angels and you don’t deserve them at the moment. But you just know they’re crossing your path for a reason. He’s warmth and happiness wrapped in a blanket. He’s home💔”
“Honestly depression isn’t kind. It kills people and we know these are facts. Yet we still treat fragile depressed people like shit. Life can really suck sometimes. Like it isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It’s blood , stress and tears. It’s your mind telling you you’ll never be worth anything. You’re nothing. It’s crying yourself to sleep some nights and waking up with a headache. It’s spending days in the bed. It’s functioning like a normal person at work then getting home and just sitting in one spot for hours. It’s daydreaming constantly about happy times and the day it’ll all end. It’s pushing yourself through it day by day even when you don’t want to. It’s loneliness. It’s emptiness. It’s just a black hole. It’s not talking about it cause it’s hard to explain and nobody really cares anyway. I’ll tell you honestly depression is NOT KIND, so maybe you should be… just a little if anything”
September was full of healing and separation. September was full of the old me mixed with the new me. September was full of anxiety and trying new things on my own. September was full of healing. September was forgiving for the past and moving forward. September was falling fast inlove again. September was full of belly laughs and face kisses. September was full of sorrys. September was full of healing. September was staying away from drama and people who bring it. September I’m so grateful for you. You came and gone so fast. But your impact will last a lifetime. Thankyou❤️ because of you I NOW love September’s.
“I don’t understand people. I don’t get them at all. I try and try to paint myself this social people loving bunny, but I’m not. I haven’t had the best luck with people. Like I’ve met some serious shitty people in my life. Some real fucking pieces of shit. They’ve used and used me again and then blamed it all on me. Maybe I am to blame for being so fucking thick EVERY time. I mean I put walls up and I’m a BITCH. I let them down and BAM I get used over and over to again. I often wonder how I look to other people? Do I look as pathetic and deprived of love as I feel?! Are these feelings even real or just in my head?! Fight or flight. Am I fighting to survive or just flighting? Sometimes days. Weeks . Months go by and I can’t remember a single thing. Not one. Is that sad? Fight or flight?”
“But what I’m trying to tell you all is life is hard. I mean like actually hard. Especially when you’re a 28 year old broken depressive-anxiety ridden weirdo who thinks she’s gonna die anytime she does anything remotely exciting. But what I’m telling you is life is hard. Especially when you are comfortable with your quirks. You love them. You fuck them. Only for people to hate them. Life is hard man. Especially when everyone is SHOUTING BE YOURSELF… and then you are and then they don’t like you. But the thing is life will always be hard, what matters most is getting back up to fight another round no matter how hard. Life is HARD. But anything worth having shouldn’t be easy. As cliche as it sounds, if it’s easy it’s not worth it. Because what will you learn if you get every thing you want every time you want it?”-shanise lachelle
Im sorry for speaking so negatively on your name
I’m sorry for putting y’all down when the world already does that for you. A million times over.
I’m sorry for very IGNORANTLY stating how I don’t find “black” men attractive anymore and they are all DOGS
I’m sorry for having my eyes closed to all the brown golden wonders god created you to be.
I’m sorry for putting EVERY single race above you
I’m sorry for saying I prefer “white men”
Dear black kings I’m SORRY. From a ignorant chocolate sister who has her eyes stitched shut for over a decade. A chocolate sister who never felt appreciated therefore she continually knocked down a whole race of gorgeous educated powerful men. The world is against you. They are against us. It makes no sense in any world that I should be against you and not on your team. For no man will understand a black queen more than a black king. Your struggle is my struggle, I got you ❤️🤴🏾