Feeling old and dusted at 29

Something very strange happened within the months of vivid becoming a thing and my 29th birthday coming up…. I started reading these crappy sexual heterosexual novels and wanting to all of a sudden be married and have kids‼️ if you personally know me, it came out of nowhere and was super sudden and annoying. I was dressing more girly and acting less like myself and MORE like what I thought a almost 30 year old should be like. I got into the mindset of “if I want a husband I’ve got to fix myself and be perfect first” and let me tell you one thing:PERFECTION does not exist !! Although I have become super busy and have found happiness in building a business and furthering my blog, and you know becoming a GIRLBOSS. I still felt half empty… like okay my time is winding down and I don’t wanna be a old mom, I need to find a MAN now and be married and have my baby before it’s too late. Like this is a constant anxiety loop for me for the past few months. And I can’t decide if it’s because of quarantine and not being able to meet new people or being in my last year of my 20s and feeling like romantically I’m not where I’m suppose to be. Which is silly right?! Because nowhere in real life is it mandatory to have a husband and baby and that equals automatic HAPPINESS. I generally haven’t been attracted to real life men in like two years. So my sudden need for marriage and to be a wife was overwhelming me. Suffocating me. But thing is… I put this pressure on myself and it’s quite silly to be worked up over such trivial things. To put so much of my worth and thought process into being the right kind of women a man will want to marry… when in all honesty FUCK MEN( not the select good few) but the overall population of men SUCK.

So as I sit here and coming to the conclusion that I don’t need to rush myself to find a MAN AND BE A WIFE. I’m dope as well without a man and I’m sure as hell not settling for some mediocre man at that, just so I can say I have one. I’m writing this to remind myself how badass I really am and how even At times were I feel low and feel like a complete failure when it comes to men: IM NOT. And hey there’s always women. the right guy (or girl) will come along and sweep you off your feet. And you will look back at this post and be like damn… I was BUGGING.

Do it review

Why you all continue to sleep on chloexhalle is beyond me. These girls literally write and produce most if not ALL of their music . And they’re adorable and super humble. Not to mention queen B has Become their mentor. their debut album THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT, was released in 2018 and was nominated for a few Grammys! No big deal right? Not to mention they toured with Beyoncé and act on the hit young adult show, GROWNISH. These girls are it and more. Do it is their upcoming single off their new album UNGODLY HOUR. And it’s a BOP!! It’s infectious and gets stuck in your head. The video makes the song even better. The looks, the visuals, the choreography, the girls said here let us feed y’all during this pandemic. And boy did they feed us. With DO IT, they’re showing us how they’re truly grown now.[refrence to their first album) and I think I can speak for all of us when I say we are here for it.

What I’ve been doing during “RONA”

I know times are hard for most and uncertain for us all, but here’s what I’ve been doing to keep me sane!

1.meditation

2.working out

3.doing facials

4.watching the same Netflix shows over and over(brings me comfort)

5. Everyday I start with the mantra “I’m grateful, I’m thankful, I’m blessed” it helps to put things into perspective.

I know things suck right now and everything is closed and people are dying rapidly, but we have to remember to follow what the surgeon general is telling us and to stay inside and wash it hands!! If everyone follows he rules set in place this will be over much sooner. It blows my mind how some governors aren’t taking this serious and letting people go out and crowd places. This will never be over if everyone doesn’t all come together.

Stay positive and stay inside!

Great films I’ve watched recently

Here are some of the films I’ve watched in the last few weeks that were AMAZING.

1. Knives out- now I get the hype around it. Amazing performance from Everyone. Especially Chris Evans. I love him as there hero, but love him even more as the bad guy.

2.the invisible man. Now upon seeing the commercials I will admit I thought it looked a bit silly. But oh man oh man this is without a doubt one of the best films of 2020. Elizabeth Moss is a BEAST!! And carries this entire movie on her back !

3. The gentlemen. What a pleasant surprise. I happen to be one of those girls who can enjoy a little man ensemble nonsense film from time to time. Especially when the men are handsome. This film is an excellent film though and I’m surprised I didn’t hear to much praise about it when it came out. It’s super clever and funny. And everyone gives an outstanding performance.

4.zombieland 2. Not much to say about this one other than I enjoyed it very much . And it’s what you expect from a zombie comedy.

What have you been watching in self isolation? Any of these films?

Keep calm and carry on

We are living in scary uncertain times. Two weeks ago I was going into spring break after taking my exams and planning two vacations for April. Now both of those have been cancelled and my college has transferred all classes online. The future seems uncertain and so far away as we’ve been ordered to stay inside and keep at least 6 ft between us. In the light of what seems like “the end of the world” I’ve decided to compile a corona virus list. Aka things to do while you’re at home in between work or school so you don’t go stir crazy.

1. Netflix. Hulu or Disney plus! Catch up on all your shows you’ve been to busy to watch and or start new ones.

2.workout. Now gyms and such might be closed but you can go for walks and or go running outside.

3.which brings us to number 3 make sure and get some sunlight!!! It’s very important to get some vitamin D especially if you’re suffering from anxiety or depression! Don’t forget to soak up some sun. Even if you’re just sitting on your porch.

4.pray/meditate. You don’t have to be super religious to pray. You can pray to the Universe and just ask for guidance. And meditation will help you calm any worry’s or stress this situation has undoubtedly put on you.

5. Read . Finish that book you started years ago or start a new one.

6. Start baking! What better way than to start up a tasty hobby. It can be fun to involve the kids too.

7.have random dance parties! Also great to include the kids!! It will really lift your spirits!

8. Play board games! Another fun way to just relax and bring the family together for some innocent fun.

9. Stay positive! I know this seems hard now a days and the media is nothing but bad news lately. But nothing bad ever came out staying positive .

Wine Wednesday’s

Hello. As I sit here drinking my rather large glass of red wine and watching the vampire diaries for the 100th time, I thought “self why won’t you do a wine Wednesday’s where you ramble about shit but drunk” and I thought “wow shanise you are brilliant”. So that’s that, I’ll be doing a wineost- wine post every Wednesday or every other Wednesday. Or maybe I’ll do it on Thursday. Guess we will see.

Today’s post is about how NONE of my exes look alike. I now realize after 28 years of dating fails that I don’t actually have a type. *gasp* I have a type for famous men afcourse, I’m not a animal! But real life boys , I’m not really bothered. As long as they’re cute and make me laugh. If you could see my list of exes/people i talked too. (Hides begins wine) I like to pretend I never dated any of them to be honest. And when I see them in public I run. Maybe one day I’ll indulge you all in my horror dating stories. Lol maybe not.