Lessons

What I’ve learned about myself so much these past 3 years is that , friendships consume me. And not in a good way. I often find people I have zero in common with and become fast “best friends “. I then go over and beyond for them and would kill for them. Only to be let down every single time when they don’t Ever share the same energy. But why? Am I not important enough to go hard for? Are they using me and don’t realize it? I can tell you how many times I’ve had friends check In on me or tried to hangout to catch up with me these last few months of 2019-0. All those best friends I went over and beyond for have been nowhere to be found. Crazy right?! Not really , what I learned is people will always let you down when you hold them to any type of standards. People suck and people are getting more selfish with their time. People will see how caring and giving you are and will suck you insanely DRY. My problem is I always attract “friends” like this. So in reality maybe I’m the problem right?! My need for constant love and attention and longing for companionship had made me desperate to befriend and keep friends who aren’t actually great friends at all. This doesn’t mean they’re bad people afcourse just not on par to be great friends with me. It’s made me severely independent. I no longer wait around for people to get things done. I go shopping by MYSELF. I go to the movies by MYSELF. I go workout/running by MYSELF. Because In the end I’m the only one who’s always gonna have my back and I won’t ever let me down. This year I think by loosing friendships I found the best one in ME❤️