AsToldByShan

Welcome Back to the Blog and Happy March! February has been short but super busy, and I know I dropped the ball on my Black History Month posts!!

(I will still be doing them during the month of March)

Today we will be discussing why I feel I can longer be a Girls Girl! And before you get your knickers in a twist, it’s not actually what you think! Let’s get into it….

As a Queer woman, with lots of sisters and an infinite love for women, I’ve lately found myself at a crossroads.

Although I’ve always adored and supported women, even in my hater days, lately I find that support and love dwindling down for certain women.

In 2025 it’s extremely rare to find women who honestly love and support women through it all. There is a big group of them, but an even larger group of women who will stab you in the back if it means they get to have the ultimate happiness.

And I find it so strange to STILL be running into those type of girls way into my 30s. Now the new few that I have met are a lot younger and that part of their brain hasn’t matured. So I’ll give them grace, but the older crew, that have seen and been through so much , are still operating as if we’re in high school. And it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.

No one has any real loyalty anymore and no one wants to be held accountable. Of course they want YOU to be the best friend who supports them no matter what and has unwavering loyalty to them, but they don’t give it back. It’s actually weird to watch.

And I’m no saint and I have many flaws, but one thing I can say for me is , I’m honest and sometimes a little too blunt! But I’m 100% a rider and a girls girl! I will always choose a girls side in ANYTHING! And always support her rights and wrongs! (I’ll tell her she’s wrong In private.)

But lately with the quality of friendships within the woman community and how everyone has become so selfish, I’m starting to pull back! I’ve learned to pour into the healthy bonding with women. Other women who are willing to learn and change, and be held accountable!

I’m learning to no longer support and stand by women who continue to make the same mistakes and haven’t grown past the mental age of 21! It’s exhausting, and when you try to point out to them how they’re moving is not right, they get offended and make it seem like you’re crazy. And I’m just getting too old to try and be Captain Save All Women! Some women truly don’t want to grow and be better, they want to stay the same and wonder why their life isn’t going how it should be! and of course every one’s journey is their own and it’s not my business to try and save everyone! but when you’re in my circle and I see you not thriving to your fullest potential, I will try and help out! I can only sit and hear the same type of stories over and over, before I’m like “okay let’s take some action to change it then.”

Like I said, I’m not perfect and there’s tons of things I can and AM working on to become a better and healthier version of me! I hold myself accountable and I am constantly trying to better myself and be better than yesterday! But as we’re in the third month of 2025, I just can NO longer support unhealthy friendships with woman. I want my circle to reflect who I am trying to work towards and I want it to be healthy and genuine! no hidden animosity or jealousy! Just pure genuine love. and that’s only available when dealing with mature and healed/healing women!

Let 2025 be the year we ALL learn not to be GirlsGirls to the wrong women! Because pouring from a clean glass into a constantly dirty one , isn’t going to do anything but leave you dirty and exhausted as well!

Thanks for Reading!

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