People

“I don’t understand people. I don’t get them at all. I try and try to paint myself this social people loving bunny, but I’m not. I haven’t had the best luck with people. Like I’ve met some serious shitty people in my life. Some real fucking pieces of shit. They’ve used and used me again and then blamed it all on me. Maybe I am to blame for being so fucking thick EVERY time. I mean I put walls up and I’m a BITCH. I let them down and BAM I get used over and over to again. I often wonder how I look to other people? Do I look as pathetic and deprived of love as I feel?! Are these feelings even real or just in my head?! Fight or flight. Am I fighting to survive or just flighting? Sometimes days. Weeks . Months go by and I can’t remember a single thing. Not one. Is that sad? Fight or flight?”