Is Being Single a Sin?

By: Shanise Lachelle

We are in the days of online dating, married at first sight and 90 day fiance’s. Since I was little all I can remember is girls being loved and loving the idea of love and having a boyfriend. So much that was engrained in me and I’ve been OBESSED with finding love and “THE ONE”, my whole life. It wasn’t until my late 20s that I actually wanted more than to be someone’s. I wanted to be my OWN first. So I think people tend to find it hard to imagine an attractive, young , and fun woman and why can’t she find a man!?

And I just find it more confusing, as to why I or anyone young woman should NEED a man?! I’ll be the FIRST to point out all the ways men suck, but unfortunately they can also be pretty great, I can humbly also admit that I’ve had just as many great moments with men as I’ve had horrible moments.

But the question still stands, why do I need to be in a relationship to be happy? I’m more confident single, I actually have time for my hobbies, and I’m genuinely more productive and stress free. Anytime I was in any type of relationship , it consumed me, the way love often does. And I ALWAYS lost myself. And it always took forever for me to get ME back.

I’m still healing from trauma and trying to find my way back. I often do say most men suck and THEY do. Honestly, I don’t have blinders on anymore, and the way most of them talk about women, treat women, it honestly turns me off. And I’m talking about the real life men In my life , that I see on social media and in real situations.

Now they’re are some good guys out there, and I will be the first to shout, IF YOU HAVE A GENUINE GOOD GUY , don’t ever let him go!!!. We are in the heat of hook up culture and ” I don’t want a girlfriend, but want all the perks of one”. Or just the guys you basically gotta groom. And I’m sorry I’m honestly exhausted by that idea right now. Relationships are alot if work and I honestly don’t want that type of commitment right now. I don’t have 100% to give to anyone but me.

Like I’ve stated before, I’ve spent ALL of my teen years/20s on men and wanting to be loved, so bad I took it from the worst. And then I woke up and said ENOUGH. I’m putting me first and I wanna love me the way I’ve given love away so freely before. And why is that a sin?!

Tired of everyone shoving relationships down my throat and acting as if I’m unhappy because I don’t have one, quite the opposite actually, I’m very happy and satisfied.

“Just because YOU’RE in a relationship and you thrive in one, doesn’t mean I’m not thriving without one.”

Different types of flowers bloom differently, you get your love from a him and I get my love from ME. Stop assuming single people are unhappy and bored with their lives.

Are you having these same type of problems? Or are you happily in a relationship? Let me know in the comments down below.

I know this isn’t my usual type of kpop related post, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

Published by astoldbyshanise

A writer who’s also a blogger.

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