The thing about being single is , I’ve been “single” or on my own for so long I’ve lost the interest to be with someone. I’ve had so many failed relationships it’s made me hard and unable to open up to anyone. It’s like why bother when I’ll probably just end up disappointed like I always am. Which I’m aware is a very negative way to go about life and love in general but alas here I am. With my walls built high and doing everything for myself. I buy my own flowers, take myself shopping, hype myself up, take myself on dates, I open my own pickle jars, kill the spiders on my own and if I want something , I buy it for myself. I don’t wait for some magical knight in shinning armor to buy it for me. In fact I feel very weird about guys buying me gifts in general. The point is once you’ve been single and let down so many times, it’s hard to open yourself up to love.
For 2020 I’m hoping I can get my shit together and try and let someone in. I don’t need anyone, but it would be nice to have someone sometimes. Maybe even if it’s just so they can open my pickle jar for me instead.